A fish out of water's Blog

MOTIVATION

kimmiichan — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 00:18:37 +0000

These past few weeks have not been good for my weight maintaining. Instead of maintaining or losing weight, I actually gained about 7 pounds. Soooooo it’s time to get back on track… again. One of my biggest downfalls is the fact that I don’t control what’s in the house food wise. Anything I buy for myself tends to get eaten by someone else, and anything that’s bought for the house tends to not be all that healthy and or conducive to my own weight loss. But I can’t sit here and blame anything on what’s in the kitchen. It’s my own fault that I’ve become too lax with my eating habits. So it’s time (again) to get back on track. Over the past few days I’ve started doing several things again.

Drinking 8 cups of water again
Exercising again
Counting calories again (to be aware of what I’m eating again)
Cutting out sugars again
No more bread
Eat only when I’m hungry

Usually I have pretty good control, but these past few weeks I’ve been really bad about things. So it’s time to get better again. I tend to do that by replacing bad habits with good ones, posting pictures of how I want to look up in my room or setting them as my computer background, and by saying silly things in my head over and over again (such as ‘smaller thighs- cuter guys’ lol). It all seems a little silly, but it works. So here’s to fixing my eating habits again.

AND THEN THE WINDS CAME

kimmiichan — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 05:52:32 +0000

I think winter is finally upon us here! The winds started blowing really hard today and last night, and tomorrow it’s supposed to rain. I love the winds. I find them so relaxing. I know most people get agitated, but they’re really comforting to me. I enjoy winter a lot, so I’m looking forward to the weather finally changing.

A FAREWELL TO SUGAR

kimmiichan — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 05:19:29 +0000

I love sugar. I love most sweet things, & desserts. I enjoy cake, icecream, churros, candy, chocolate, & most other sweet things. When I decided to lose weight over a year ago, I knew that I’d have to cut back on all of the sugar that I ate on a regular basis. So I did. But I never stopped eating it all together. I simply cut back on it to maybe once a week. However, I’ve begun to notice that during certain times each month, sugar really makes me sick & leaves me feeling all around ill. It’s unfortunate, but I’ve come to eat it less and less. These days I eat very little if any sugar at all in a month. I’m healthier & much happier for it, but I must admit, I still mourn the loss of it from time to time.

It’s made me realize even more than I already knew that knowing your body & being aware of what you put into it is extremely important. I already knew my food allergies, but never considered that sugar would have such a major effect on me. As it stands right now, there are quite a few foods that I either don’t eat at all, or rarely eat. They include:

mellons (allergic to them)
bananas (also allergic)
icecream (unfortunately I’m sensitive to dairy)
fried foods (as often as I can avoid them because they make me break out and leave me feeling sluggish & a bit gross)
chocolate (it gives me cramps, headaches & backaches- but I still LOVE it!)
sugar in general (it just leaves me feeling sort of grimy… even though I love it so much!)
caffeine (makes me feel really unfocused & I have problems slowing down at night… even though I think it probably does that to just about anyone who hasn’t built up a tolerance to it)
honey (I’m allergic to it in large quantities)
rich foods (they make me feel sick)

It’s a rather unfortunate list, but I’m glad that I pay attention to my body enough to know what it can & can’t handle. I would suggest to anyone who regularly has stomach pains, headaches, cramps, aches & pains, or just tends to be left feeling sort of sluggish, gross, contaminated, not on your game, or in a fog after meals that they pay attention to what they eat & how they feel after they eat them. You may notice that you’re allergic to things or sensitive to them.

Some people are a much more emphatic about this than I am. I know there are some people who completely switch to organic food, swearing off all processed foods. I most certainly am not urging anyone to do that. If that’s your life choice, I cheer you on. But if you’re like me, & you enjoy a bit of processed food on occasion, I just suggest that you pay attention to what you put into your body & how it reacts. I figure it’s about self awareness & your body’s responses & less about cutting everything out.

Though, none of this means that on occasion, I don’t give into a craving & eat something full of sugar. I may regret it later, but it’s worth it. At least now I know I’ll feel sick before I eat it & the cause of it.

WEIGHT LOSS MOTIVATION

kimmiichan — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 03:55:18 +0000

Lately I haven’t been so strict on my diet as I should have been. I’ve been doing a pretty good job of portion control, & I feel like the changes I’ve made to my diet have become more life style changes than just a ‘diet.’ Which is what I’ve been working towards- doing the ‘diet’ until it becomes normal. That’s a good way to stay healthier & to ensure that the weight doesn’t come back on. Because you can always lose the weight any number of ways (‘cleanse’ diets, liquid diets, strict regimented diets that tell you what to eat at every meal, microwave meals, boot camp, surgery, etc.) & those ways could be very healthy & helpful. But what good will they do you in the long run if you don’t continue to have better eating habits?

So I’m doing that well at least. But I admit it- I haven’t been working out the way I should. Honestly, I should be power walking every day & I’m thinking about going back to pilates again. It always makes me feel good after I do it.

Lately I’ve found motivation in pictures. I find that if I find a public figure who I’d like to resemble physically, looking at a picture of them whenever I have the urge to snack helps a lot. Lately I’ve had the cravings well under control, but it also helps with motivation. On the days when I just don’t feel like doing anything, it really helps to just look at them and feel motivated. Having a goal is great, but actually seeing it on someone else is really motivating for me. I’m so close to my goals! I’m going to make it! I WILL!

Sincerely motivated,

Kim

KINDLY REJECTIONS

kimmiichan — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 04:10:48 +0000

I received an email a few days ago from the museum I had sent in my resume to. It was a rejection for one of the two positions I was hoping for. Rejection is never anything nice. & on some level, no matter how nice they may be worded, they still hurt. The nice thing about the letter was that it was actually personalized. The woman who wrote it had actually taken the time to review my resume & write to me about my progress in museum studies, & the accomplishments I’ve made so far. So at least it was a kind rejection. There’s still the other job opening, & frankly, I’m more confident I’m qualified for that one than I am for the first one. The deadline for resume submissions had been April 30, but as of a few days ago, the deadline had been moved up & the window for submissions had been closed. I’m telling myself it’s a good thing, that the museum closed submissions because they’ve found enough resumes- mine included- to pick from. The only disadvantage to me that I can really see for this job would be that others may have more years of experience than I do in a museum. I’ve spent a few years in a few, but I’ve spent years in some sort of education- over 12 in total.

I’m going to wait until Monday before I send a follow up email. I figure a week is a good amount of time to wait. I actually went into the museum this past Monday to check on the one I was rejected for. At the time it had been over a week since I had submitted my resume, & they had told me that they were still in fact sorting resumes. I had originally resolved myself to waiting until the 30th, but with the closing of the submission deadline, I’m anxious for Monday. I’m still hoping that I get this job. With it, my career could finally take off. Monday also happens to be my birthday. That job would be one of the best birthday presents I could ever get.

Sincerely & Hopefully,

Kim

A PROFESSIONAL CAREER

kimmiichan — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 04:30:53 +0000

After I graduated from college, I ended up becoming a substitute. It was convenient, & definitely something that I’m qualified to do. All I needed to do was pass the CBEST. It’s been treating me pretty well so far. In the beginning it was a little slow, but I get calls pretty frequently these days & I’m able to pick the jobs I want to do. I also get call backs from two schools pretty regularly. It’s definitely not always a very easy job, but I do enjoy it most days. Granted, there are some days when it’s just not worth it. When there’s up to 37 students in a class room & most of them have attitudes & come in with the intent to not listen to you & to do what they want, it’s a hard day. I think it would be a bit more worth it if teaching was what I had gone to school for & is what I want to do professionally. I went to school for history & for museum studies. I’ve been wanting a job in museums but I haven’t been able to find one I was qualified for, or one that was more of a ‘career’ instead of a ‘job’ that you don’t need a degree for (like gift shop attendant, or ticket seller). That doesn’t mean I think there’s anything wrong with doing those jobs- they’re good jobs & it’s an honest pay check. But I didn’t go school & earn a 4 year degree so that I could watch a gift shop. But there just weren’t any that I’d found anywhere close by.

Then last week my brother mentioned to me that his friend works at a nice museum in the city I want to move to & mentioned to another friend online that they were hiring at his job. I looked online on their website & found that they were looking for security guards (which I’ve seen a lot of), & excitingly enough an assistant to the Chief Curator. So I sent in my resume. This weekend my mom found out that they posted a second position for an education assistant. So I put in my resume for that as well. Either of these positions would be amazing to have. I meet the qualifications for both & would be thrilled to be hired for either. However, I hadn’t heard back from the first position, so I thought I would check up on it. This weekend I was in the area so I went into the museum just to check up on my resume. I went with a friend, & I was told that they’re still reviewing resumes but that if I meet the qualifications for the job that they’ll call me. It felt good to go in & check on things. It was also nice to walk around the museum.

If i can get this job, I’ll be able to move out, & actually start my professional career. I’ll also be able to move to the city I want to. I’m looking forward to what happens next.

UPDATES

kimmiichan — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 03:08:22 +0000

Summer will be here before I know it & I’m trying to figure out different ways to make some extra cash before then. I’ve just recently picked up a second job on top of my subbing, & I’ll have to find something else to do over the summer on top of everything else that I’m planning so that I’ll be able to make some money.

Since the school district changed over from year round to regular September to May school system, I’ll be unemployed for 3 months over the summer. I was hoping that another school district that was year round would pick me up as a sub, but unfortunately, none of the school districts anywhere in the area are hiring subs. Everyone is really feeling the crunch right now. So I basically need a summer job. The only problem is that any summer job that will pay me well isn’t going to be a ‘summer job.’ In other words, I’m not just going to find something that pays me over $100 a day that will only hire me for 3 months. I probably won’t even find something that pays $10 a hour anywhere near me- I’ve been searching for months & haven’t come up with anything over minimum wage in the area. That sounds pretty severe, but unfortunately, it’s just a sign of the times. There’s work, it’s just not worth it to quit my current day job.

Subbing has been going rather well the past few months. There’s a high school close to the house that likes me a lot & calls me back regularly. & lucky for me the basically steady work couldn’t have come too soon. The school district has just voted to pay substitutes $20 less than what we’ve been making. We all thought the actual pay cuts wouldn’t take place this year & would start next school year- turns out it starts after the end of this pay period. $20 on it’s own may not sound like a lot, but I needed that $20 extra a day to break even each month.

The moment that I heard that they were thinking about cutting my pay back, I went online & started searching for jobs again (like I’ve been doing for months). Nothing I found paid me anywhere near what I make now (not surprising), so I had to make the decision to pick up a second job instead of finding a new one. I found a tutoring job that actually pays a few cents more per hour than I currently make right now. Obviously I won’t get anywhere near the hours I get now (I’m paid by the day, but I mean I won’t get enough hours tutoring per day to make enough per day like I do subbing), but it’s something. I sent in an email & got a response. They sent me an application & later I got a phone call asking me how comfortable I felt about tutoring siblings who needed help in 6th grade language arts & 5th grade math (though it’ll probably be 4th grade because the student is behind). Each session with them would be 2 hours (1 hour per student) probably about 2 times a week. That’s an extra $70 a week that will be very much welcome. I was told the job would probably only be until April, but at the moment, I’ll take what I can get. The company pays up to $35 an hour for a group of 3 students at once, so maybe if they’re satisfied with my work, they’ll let me have a group. I have a phone orientation with them on Monday.

I’ve been trying to figure out different things that I can do to earn extra cash on top of this over the summer. Recently several friends have been having babies, so I’ve made them all baby quilts. The quilts were a success, so I’m thinking about selling them. I’ve also been considering selling knit scarves. The only problem that I’d been having with that is they take a while to make. I had considered a knitting machine, but the other night I discovered a much easier solution. I just need to use larger knitting needles & thicker yarn. It’ll make a heavier scarf, but it’ll still look nice. The great thing about the quilts is that they don’t use much fabric, so they’re relatively inexpensive to make. It’s the same thing with the scarves- & they’re even cheaper to make than the quilts. I just need to buy the needles once, & then the yarn for every scarf. I’ve already set up a page on Etsy, & I’m considering selling at farmer’s markets. For a while I was thinking about making soap, but after reading how to do it, I’ve decided that’s more of a science project that I want to embark on. The same thing goes for making perfume too. I may even try to sell some art online, but we’ll see how it goes. I’m still not convinced I’m good enough for strangers to pay money for my stuff.

I’ve been trying to learn graphic design through different college level books that a friend of mine loaned me since being hired as a designer would pay more (a friend of mine who’s a graphic designer told me I don’t have to have a degree to be hired- just the knowledge & talent), but after months of trying, I’ve decided to give up on that idea. It was a nice idea, but I really just need someone to actually teach me. The books came with instructional CDs, but they were meant to be coupled with actual lectures & class time.

This summer I also want to try to sell some education programs to museums. I’m going to be researching programs, & how much they cost- I’m also going to be contacting some people in the museum world that I know & asking them what they would look for in a summer camp type program. I’m going to have to start now so that I have enough time to really refine it & sell something that I’d be proud to put my name on. I’m not anticipating it will be easy to do, but I have confidence in what I’ve learned from school, & I think I’ll be able to do this based off my successful programs in the past. The hardest part will be making sure that someone who has little to no experience teaching a summer program will be able to use my curriculum & teach the program successfully.

The comic is coming along successfully on its small scale, but I want to trade mark it or copy write it or do something along those lines & then develop a website for it. Then I’ll be able to build up a fan base outside of my friends. I’m also just getting better at making them. I invested in a light pad (a light box that’s really skinny like a laptop) a few months ago during an art supply sale. I had to drive about an hour to get it, but the investment was worth it. It’s a one time purchase, & due to the light bulbs the company uses, I apparently won’t have to replace them for years- if ever. It’s been such a huge help in drawing a more consistent comic. Not to mention all the time I save.

I tend to look at things as either investments, or non-investments. If it’s something I’ll use for years to come, it’s an investment. The light pad, the sewing machine (my aunt bought it for me), the cricut machine (a shape cutting machine that I’ve already used to make cards to sell) & knitting needles. These are all things that you shouldn’t need to buy again, or replace for quite a while. Other purchases that aren’t investments to me are items you’ll only use once like entertainment expenses, & formal clothing that you have no intention of wearing after the event. I haven’t had much entertainment expenses lately since I’m cutting back on just about anything fun in order to try to save some money. Unfortunately, with news of that pay cut, my attempts at saving money just got that much harder. Hopefully I’ll be able to tutor on a regular basis over the summer, & my blankets, scarves, cards & summer camp programs will be a success.

I know I’m going to be alright one way or another, but if I can successfully sell this stuff, it’ll definitely make my life a little bit easier.

GLOGGING

kimmiichan — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 21:19:14 +0000

The other day at work I went in to help in the library during a free period I had. The librarian was doing a short class on glogging. Glogging is a new thing you can find on a website called glogster. It basically provides the tools to do graphic design with different font, images, backgrounds, etc. In the 10 minutes I watched her teach the students, I learned how to work the site. It’s fairly simple & pretty straight forward. The main thing you have to do is just experiment. So when I went home that day I opened an account on glogster & started messing around with it, & ended up making two glogs. I wrote the poems for them & used a picture I had taken of a friend, & another of his sister that she let me use.

It’s pretty fun to do & to look around the site at the other glogs that people (mainly teenagers) have done.

Sincerely, & having lots of fun,

-Kim

ONE STEP FORWARD… HOW MANY BACK?

kimmiichan — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 20:12:43 +0000

So for Christmas break, I started eating a little more than normal- I snacked quite a bit. Then as New years came along, I ate lots of sugar & breads & snacked uncontrollably. Once the holidays were over, I found I had a hard time getting back to my eating habits. One snack lead to another & before I knew it, I’d gone from the high 130′s to the mid 140′s… 7 pounds in total!

Oops…

Funny thing is though, I’ve been asked if I’ve actually lost weight… I figured it’s because I didn’t gain those 7 back in the same places. I couldn’t really figure out where I’d gained it back until I wore a dress to work one day & realized it was a little bit tight in the chest. I’ve also noticed my middle isn’t quite as thin as it was. But at least to others it doesn’t look like I’ve gained weight.

So for the past few weeks I’ve been trying to get my eating back under control. I’ve finally done that, but now I need to start working out again. What I need to do is get back to the gym to swim again, but that might have to be only once or twice a week now- Friday nights & possibly Saturdays. The only problem with Saturdays is that I go to church in the evenings, so if I swim Friday evening, I’d have to do my hair Saturday afternoon in order to be ready for church. & then if I swim again that night, I’d just be messing up my hair again. It may not seem like a big deal for most people, but it takes me over 1 1/2 hours to do my hair- & that’s the shortened time. So more than likely, unless my hair grows out & I can just wear it curly & not have to worry about straightening it, I’m down to other exercises- walking. Which is fine, walking is what I’ve always done. It’s a proven way for me to lose weight, so at least I know I’ll see results.

As far as I’m concerned, the hardest part is over. I’ve conquered my cravings, & the need to eat constantly & to snack constantly. I’ve started recording what I eat again, allotting myself only about 500 countable extra calories on top of my regular meals. So for example, I’m not all that interested in counting how many calories 2 chicken legs is, but if I have a bit of rice with that, since it’s easier to measure, I’ll just measure the rice (I go online & type in something like ‘calories in white rice’ & I get pages of calorie numbers for serving sizes of all kinds of rice). So in other words, I’ll count anything that I can easily find calorie amounts to, but I’m just going to assume that I meet the other calorie requirements in the bulk of my meals. Limiting myself to only 500 extra calories means I have up to 1,000 in meals- which usually works out pretty well I’m guessing.

Though I know calorie counting works, I’m also thinking of limiting my sugar intake as well because I know I’ve upped that since the holidays. I’ve been working a long term job & have gotten into the bad habit of drinking sodas- which have much more added sugar than I need. So I’m going to have to stop that. I’m also going to have to start back up on most of what I was doing before Christmas.

So, for my own benefit, let’s recap.

Counting calories again
Recording everything I eat again
Drinking more than 2 cups of water a day again- probably 5-6
Walking every day again
Cutting back on most extra sugars again
Bringing my own lunch to work
NO SNACKING
Smaller portion sizes again
Donkey kick exercises again… my butt’s not quite as perky as it was when I was doing those… it’s a vanity thing, I know, but still.

Other than that, life is going ok… Nothing all that new to report. Still subbing, still trying to pay the bills. The comic is going pretty well. I’m posting one every Monday & am looking into a few things to benefit it. I learned that the moment I put my comics down on paper in hard copy form, I’m protected by copyright law- which was news to me. I’m protecting it in more ways, but the moment you put something down on paper, you’re protected- so long as it’s the actual product, & not just an idea.

That’s my update for now. I haven’t changed in dress sizes, but 7 pounds is still 7 pounds. & I refuse to be in the 140s for the rest of my life. I’m going to get down the the mid to low 130′s. Period.

Sincerely, slowing working at it & determined to be smaller,

-K

RINGING IN THE NEW YEAR

kimmiichan — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 00:19:25 +0000

For Christmas this year, instead of doing blankets & quilts, mom & I made ornaments. I saw one at a gift exchange I was at, & thought, ‘I can do that.’ So I looked online, found a template & got the materials. Then mom & I cranked out about 10 of them in total.

They arrived late, even though I sent them out a week before Christmas. But at least they arrived at all.

New years came & went without too much incident. A friend of mine & I went to see Tangled just before the new year came in. I had thought I’d enjoy it but it actually turned out to be even better than I had thought it would be. Between the sweeping aerial views, & the characters, it was very pretty to just look at. I’d had my doubts about how anyone would re-write the Rapunzel story to make it a family friendly one, but they did a pretty good job of it.

I’m afraid I pretty much blew my diet. Not only did I just eat a lot of sugar, but I also ate way too much per portion. & now my appetite is much more than it was & I find I’m eating much more than I was just a few weeks ago. So now I’m going to have to do the miserable task of shrinking down my appetite again. It’s probably the worst part of eating right & better. I’ll be hungry at odd times for a few days, but after those few days, things will get normal again, & I won’t be constantly hungry. The key while I’m trying to do it is to eat lower calorie foods so I can eat more portions until I can get it back under control. Not much fun, but it’ll help me get my weight loss back under control. It’s time to start drinking water again, eating less, eating better, cutting out sugars, & exercising again.

Web comic wise, I’m still updating once a week, though I’ve put trying to get a website up for it on hold. I’ve decided to put it on hold until I have a steady job. Subbing pays well enough, when you can get it. It’s also rather hard work (though I doubt most people see it as such), & I’d rather focus on doing the best job I can & wait until I have a bit more time to try to figure out a website.

I’m still looking for a second job. There have definitely been more job postings in the past few months than I’ve seen since I’ve moved home. However, none of them pay as well as subbing does. The problem is that none of them offer enough hours at a high enough pay, or offer enough pay to compensate what I’m currently making. But I’ll keep looking. I know eventually something else will come up & that I’ll be able to go into my field of choice- it’s just a matter of time.

Until that time comes, I’ll just have to keep looking & hope that I’m winning favor with the people that I’m working with.

-K